Why I Miss Being In College
Summer is just around the corner and I have been catching myself seriously missing our little home in Arizona. As of this week, I am officially out of school for an entire year - all 365 days. In a little over a month, I will have been back home on Maui for a full cycle around the sun. My next chapter in life started in May 2017 and looking back, I have no idea where the time has gone. I am completely in love with where I am at and where my life is heading but there are moments like these that have me wishing for a little more time with my college self.
For my fellow 2017 graduates, you already know that post-grad isn’t always as glam as we were told. Sure getting a 9-5 with the big kid paycheck and putting that degree to use has been very gratifying but what they didn’t mention is that lost feeling that calls the knot in your stomach home. After the dust settled and I was back walking barefoot through my Haiku jungle, I finally realized that I lost a sense of purpose at that graduate ceremony.
There are days that I feel like I am aimlessly wandering through my routine and I am ever so grateful that I have an opportunity to put that to rest. I know I talk a lot about Arbonne and today that is not my intention. Today I want to talk about why I actually miss college because if I am being honest, group projects and useless tests can stay in the past.
While walking across the stage to get that rolled up piece of paper that place holds my diploma, I had a huge weight lifted from my chest and taking that first breath all I could think was, “I did it.” The stress for good grades or even just to pass was real for those four years and it had me pulling all nighters just finish things perfectly. I thought that once I was out of school I would have less pressure to be what everyone expected me to be but that was not exactly what I greeted myself with upon my arrival home. With everyone around me seemingly having their shit together, I created this giant cloud of doubt and casted it over myself. Yes, I got a job right out of college. But here I was living back at my childhood home, separate from my boyfriend whom I had been living with for 4 years prior. Here I was with no idea what I wanted in life and stuck dedicating 40 hours to someone else’s dream. I heard the “when I was your age” that made my accomplishments seem so small just about a dozen times. And I seriously miss when the only purpose and real pressure I had was to get a degree because sometimes that was easy in comparison to the now.
I am not going to lie, what I miss the most about being in college is seeing the incredible souls that I chanced upon on a daily basis. From those classmates that always came in clutch to the co-workers that I complained about life with and the bar bathroom friendships in between, these are people that I will probably only ever see on the interwebs but they helped shape who I am today. Those small interactions add up to the fuzzy feeling that I look back on fondly. And while I missed my family back home in Hawaii almost every day, I met my people in the lumberjack capital of Arizona. To the friends who fast became family, I look forward to watching and sharing memories with you as we get older. The distance has been one of the hardest things I have had to deal with since graduating and I would give anything to sip a coffee cocktail at our favorite morning bar or an ice cold beer at the creek.
If you get anything from my complaining is to live in the moment and worry a little less about the future. I missed so much memories as I was trying to figure out my life post-grad. From watching a movie marathon with my roommates to roadtripping with my closest friends, those are all moments that happen so often while in college but so few in “real life”. Enjoy the now butterflies because while I don’t regret my decisions, I sure miss life in Arizona.